A savage awaits inside every golfer. Behind the tucked-in collard shirts, matching prints, and practiced etiquette lies a vice-driven animal ready to raise hell at the local muni course. There’s a time and a place to leave a little dignity on the course — you probably want to keep it together during a Sunday round with your in-laws — but when that time comes, go hard or go home.
Depending on the size of your crew, the need for libations may exceed your beverage cart budget. We’re not necessarily condoning breaking the “no outside beverages” course rule, but, hypothetically, if you’re looking to liven up your round on your own, there are some prodcuts out there to help.
Intoxicated or not, a good golf shot is all we can ever ask for — it’s what makes the three-putts worth it. Whether your game is on or not, Golf Shots ($14.95) provides the best way to celebrate — or commiserate. Each ball holds 1.5-oz of liquid, with a flat bottom for easy refills. No more sneaking bottle shots when the marshal’s not looking.
Mary Jane is a captain of the CGB crew, a favorite in our groupings. Hitting greens all day is great for your score, and for your state-of-mind. But if you’re still stashing glass and baggies in your bag or rationing joints the whole day, Puffingtons’ Pitch-N-Puff ($15) is a must. Disguised as a ball (the storage container) and a tee (the one-hit pipe) — stereotypical, yes, but useful given the stigma — this product will definitely take your game to a higher level.
The Covert Cooler
It’s important to stay hydrated on the course, but beers per hole can get a little expensive. Offset some of your tab with the cart girl and outfit your crew with The Covert Cooler ($19.95 and up). Large enough to hold nine cans with ice packs, it’s still slim enough to fit in the large shoe pocket in your bag. A couple of Covert Coolers should keep your thirst at bay until the turn.
CGB believes golf and hip-hop go hand in hand. Though music on the golf course is still considered a contentious issue, we’ll never stop jamming from tee to green. Our go-to choices come courtesy of JBL’s line of portable speakers ($39.95 and up). Bluetooth connectivity keeps any wires out of the mix, and the cylindrical designs can fit perfectly in your cart’s cupholders. Sync multiple speakers together so everyone knows what hole the party’s at.
If it’s good enough for Bill F*cking Murray and John Daly, it’s good enough for us. Nothing says “I’m here to party” like any of Loudmouth’s subtle prints.
Editor’s note: CGB receives products direct from manufacturers for advertorial purposes. All reviews posted on this site are not associated with advertising agreements unless otherwise noted.